Being someone else

Changing your identity is quite easy in Ireland. You go to the Bank of Ireland and open a bank account. That's it. Just make sure that the assistant is in a hurry.

"Open a student bank account?" the assistant asked, already stressed. "No problem." Quick, quick. She hurried to get some forms to fill in. I didn't have to do anything, only watch her scribbling and sign in the end. "You have your card on Friday."
She was quite right. I got a card - and a new identity too. May I present? Tataaa, this is Naomi Hayler's blog. "Oh, never mind", the assistant said, "just use it." I left the office, not feeling very different but extremely uneasy. What if I forgot my PIN? How should I prove that this was really my account? After a talk with my brother, I had made up my mind: They could not get rid of me that quickly. I had the right to get a bank card with a correct spelling of my name after all. I walked back.
"You know, we often have trouble with international students", the assistant said, "sometimes, they have such bad hand-writing, we can barely make out their names." I beg your pardon?! I felt a volcano quickly building up inside me. How dare she! First of all, my hand-writing was not bad and second: she had got my name in print from the placement office and it had been her who had transferred it to the form. No, now I remember! She had copied my name from my passport. Now, Liechtensteiner passports may be unusual, and indeed, my father's passport was hand-written when he was young, but these times are over, you see, o:ver!
"I think, your colleague was just in a hurry", I said coolly, and that was very hard with Vesuvius almost reaching the roof of my mouth. Time for her to shut up, yes.
Next Tuesday, I'll have my good old identity back.